“Don’t Match Their Energy”


Have you ever encountered someone who did something so hurtful that your initial reaction was to retaliate? Yet, as anger welled up within you, did you ever feel like you were losing sight of your true self? It wasn’t until recently that I realized I don’t have to reciprocate energy I don’t admire.

It’s effortless for someone to disrupt a room’s harmony with their negative energy. It’s astonishing how their negativity can rebound and affect those around them, even when we’re simply minding our own business. Tony Robbins once wisely stated, “The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.”

This month, let’s explore the powerful influence of energy and how we can avoid matching the negative energy of others when it leads nowhere good. In a world sometimes filled with negativity and discord, mastering the art of preserving our positive energy is crucial. It’s a challenge I’ve had to navigate, whether dealing with a toxic relationship, a nosy neighbor, or a difficult colleague. It took me time to understand that I don’t have to mirror the negative energy directed at me, no matter how unpleasant it may be. When I emit negative energy in response, I’m only dimming my own light—effectively allowing the perpetrator to impact me twice.

While this concept might be crystal clear to some of our readers, I’m here today for those who haven’t experienced their “light bulb moment” yet or are uncertain where to begin. My mission is to empower all of Today’s Women with the strength and knowledge to rise above negativity. We must ensure that someone else’s dark cloud doesn’t overshadow our sunshine or lead us to their level.

Negative energy or bad vibes can have various detrimental effects on individuals and their surroundings. These can result in poor mental health, contributing to stress, anxiety, and depression. Constant exposure to negativity can leave us in a persistent state of mental distress. It also takes a toll on our physical health, potentially causing headaches, fatigue, and sleep disturbances. Chronic stress, often linked to negative energy, weakens the immune system. And if this weren’t enough, it can seep into our professional and personal lives, diminishing productivity, clouding judgment, and leading to poor decision-making.

Ever notice a pattern where those who consistently emit negativity make impulsive or irrational choices? The Law of Attraction suggests that “like attracts like.” Dwelling in negativity can bring even more negativity into our lives.

Recognizing the signs of negative energy is crucial. Here are nine strategies I employ to stay grounded, maintain my positivity, and avoid responding to negative energy with more negativity. My hope is that these tips provide you with the tools to control your emotional state and be a source of light wherever you go.

1. Practice Self-Awareness: The first step to mastering your energy is self-awareness. Pay attention to your emotions and reactions in various situations. Recognize when you’re in the presence of negative energy and consciously work to stay centered.

2. Set Clear Boundaries: Establish personal boundaries to protect your energy. Politely but firmly communicate these boundaries to others, making it clear which behaviors or conversation topics are unacceptable. This empowers you to maintain your positivity without getting drawn into negativity. If boundaries aren’t respected, consider limiting their access to you.

3. Choose Your Battles Wisely: Not every negative encounter warrants a response. Sometimes, the best course of action is to let things go and avoid getting entangled in someone else’s drama. Reserve your energy for situations that genuinely matter.

4. Redirect the Conversation: When faced with a negative conversation, steer it toward more positive and constructive topics. Ask questions that encourage optimism, share uplifting stories, or express gratitude. By changing the narrative, you can influence the energy of the interaction.

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Seek out individuals and environments radiating positivity. Spend time with people who uplift and inspire you. Engage in activities that bring joy and fulfillment. The more positive influences you have, the easier it is to resist negative energy.

6. Practice Empathy: Try to understand the source of the negative energy. Some people project negativity because they are grappling with their own issues. Showing empathy can defuse tense situations and help you maintain composure.

7. Use Positive Affirmations: Incorporate positive affirmations into your daily routine. Repeating affirmations like “I am in control of my emotions” or “I choose positivity” can reinforce your commitment to remaining upbeat in the face of negativity.

8. Seek Support: It’s perfectly acceptable to lean on friends, family, or a therapist when you need support in managing negative energy. Sharing your experiences and feelings with a trusted individual can provide valuable insights and encouragement.

9. Focus on Solutions, Not Problems: When confronted with negativity, shift your mindset from dwelling on the problem to seeking solutions. Rather than getting caught up in complaints, ask how the situation can be improved or resolved. Remember, your energy is a valuable asset, and you possess the power to control it. Your positivity can be a force for positive change, creating a ripple effect of optimism and empowerment wherever you go. #WESEEYOUSIS #DONTMISSTHEMARK

Your Sister in Chief,

Tawana Bain