She Asks (Anonymous Letter):
Dear TW Femme Anom,
I feel like I’m living out my very own fairy tale… but with a looming secret that might turn it into a nightmare. After a year and a half of bliss, my perfect fiancé and I are set to get married in five months. He proposed after just nine months of dating and I’ve honestly never been happier.
The problem? I told him my weight loss happened “the natural way,” because he’s super against any kind of weight-loss drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy. The truth is, I was on a weight-loss medication the entire time we dated before he proposed, and that’s a big part of why I looked and felt amazing. But six months after we got engaged, my insurance stopped covering the meds, and the weight is creeping back—faster than I’d like to admit.
I know it sounds silly to have lied about something like this, but I was scared he’d judge me and think I’m “one of those people” he so harshly criticizes. Now I’m terrified of two things: that he’ll leave me if he finds out, and that I’ll be bursting at the seams of my wedding dress. I do have a genuine medical issue, but I don’t know how to tell him that without him seeing me in a whole new, negative light. What should I do?
— Weighing My Options
TW Femme Anom Responds:
Dear Weighing My Options,
Oh, sweetheart, you’re living a fairy tale with a secret that’s heavier than the ring on your finger. Let’s get real: this isn’t just a “little white lie.” You’ve made an entire part of your shared life, your health, off-limits to honesty. And guess what? That’s a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.
First of all, stop beating yourself up. You have a legitimate medical issue, and the medication was helping you manage it. Your fiancé’s knee-jerk hatred of weight-loss drugs? That’s his opinion. You’re allowed to do what’s best for your body, whether he “approves” or not. But here’s the catch: you lied. And if he’s your forever partner, honesty has to be the cornerstone of your relationship.
Now you have two choices. You can keep trying to hide the truth and risk your fiancé seeing you unravel under the pressure, physically and emotionally. Or you can come clean before the wedding, set the record straight, and let him decide if he’s truly committed to loving you for better or for worse (and for thicker or thinner). A real partner will stand by your side, do the research, and learn why these meds are a critical tool for some people.
Yes, there’s a chance he’ll freak out. But better now than after you say, “I do.” This relationship can’t flourish under the weight of secrecy and shame. Trust that if he’s truly the one, he’ll want you healthy, whatever that looks like for you. And if he can’t handle the truth? That’s a whole different conversation.
Here’s your game plan: Sit him down. Explain your medical condition and why you needed the medication in the first place. Talk about what happens if you don’t have access to it; physically, mentally, and emotionally. If he loves you as much as you say he does, he’ll try to understand, even if it takes him a minute. If he can’t get over his prejudice and see the bigger picture? Well, then he’s not the Prince Charming you thought he was.
— TW Femme Anom