Defining Motherhood: Ronak Yar
Ronak Yar is mother to Kayan, 12, and Kiana, 10 and is originally from Kurdistan.
Mother to Kayan, 12 Kiana, 10
Full-time mom, studying for real estate license
Originally from Kurdistan
“I see more possibility in life and even the world through my children’s eyes. I learn with them, knowing and understanding more.”
Mothering traditions in your culture: Mothers in my culture have a big role in family, even though when I was growing up in Iran, the woman’s job was to be home, raise kids and take care of family, without being able to tell what they really want. Even thinking about that now makes me believe I’ll do all I can for my daughter and young women around me to be free of all old cultural and wrong expectations — including whether they want to become a mom or not.
Cultural traditions you embrace or alter: I have a lot of traditions that I’m so proud of and also some expectations that I would love to change if only I had the chance. What I like about my culture that I continue passing along to our children is to always respect people without judging their culture, religion or their color.
Motherhood is…. the most beautiful thing that has happened to me. There are moments or even days when things are not going the way that I want, but then I look at my kids and tell myself, ‘You have the power to continue!’”
Biggest surprises: My life with my kids is full of surprises. Over time, they grow and ask more questions, and sometimes I feel like I don’t have enough knowledge to answer. Like my daughter, Kiana, at age 4, asking me if she could be president of the United States so she could help make the world a better place for people who are in war. Or my son Kayan arguing about the political system in another country. They ask and ask, and I feel so proud.
What it takes to raise children well: Be on their side when they are willing to take a bigger step or stand in their life. Make sure that they know you’re always there for them and that they can always count on you.
What you want most for your children: I want my children to be happy and free. I want them to know how to enjoy life and appreciate every day. I want them to know about their parents’ and grandparents’ lives and thoughts and to understand the difference between then and now. I want them to look around and see how many opportunities life gives them to be what they want to be.