How Do We Change the Situation Without Changing Him?

Aug 26, 2018 | Just Ask Joyce

Our 7-year-old son is incredibly witty, but it often comes across as sarcasm, bordering on insults. His young friends, and even our adult friends, don’t know how to handle the humor. Consequently, his friend base is extremely limited, i.e., none. How do we change the situation without changing him?

No friends makes for a very lonely life for a little boy. He obviously has a natural talent that could be developed into a beneficial asset for him, perhaps a career. Without breaking his spirit, explain to him that being insulted does not feel good to people, especially those who don’t understand the humor attached. We live in an impertinent era where people hurl insults all in the name of a joke or intentional efforts emotionally to disarm, and I believe people are more sensitive and thin-skinned than ever before. Coach him as best you can on how to use his humor to make people feel good and to laugh, as laughter is healing and contagious. Challenge him by giving him multiple topics on which to practice his humor with a positive twist at the end. Explain there is a time and place for certain types of humor, but kindness always draws friends. When his peers are older, they’ll appreciate he’s the class clown and will all be vying for friendship once he shows up on America’s Got Talent.

Struggling with a relationship issue? Write Joyce Oglesby, Family Life FIX-IT Pro at and find a solution for life.


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