Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Just Ask Joyce: “How can I get over a painful relationship?”

Q: “How can I get over a painful relationship? I lived with a man for the past six years who became controlling, selfish, and not very kind to me. Things didn’t start out that way, but they quickly evolved to this sort of behavior after the first six months. I fell deeply in love and believed his initial promise — that we were for keeps. Then, with no warning at all, he announced he had found someone else and was moving out. Now what? I can’t seem to get beyond this and move on.”

Joyce: Consider yourself blessed in that this thorn in your flesh has been removed. Find relief in the discomfort! Another blessing is that you weren’t married, and it doesn’t sound like there were children involved to further complicate this new journey in life’s turn of events.

Set aside time to make a list of the good, the bad, and the ugly in this relationship. When carefully assessed, you will find the “ugly” to bring valuable life lessons, as painful as they might still seem to be. Life lessons often spew forth one of two reminders: self-standards you lost sight of somewhere along the way, or an indicator that you need a set of new ones.

Perhaps your standards were too low at the outset. Go ahead. Raise the bar. When you do, how might that look? The way you value yourself should show anyone interested in a relationship with you that you will be:
  • Treated with respect,
  • Afforded consideration,
  • Assured of integrity,
  • Esteemed in dignity, and
  • Loved worthily.
Remember: If you don’t set standards for yourself, no one else will let you. Shake the dust from your feet, consider yourself a wiser woman for the experience, and decide that some man’s heart is being prepared to love you as you deserve. Until you happen upon that priceless gem, acknowledge and celebrate your independence.

Change your life … NOW! Write Joyce Oglesby, Family-Life Fitness Pro™, at joyce@justaskjoyce.com. I’m here to help! Check out my books and other resources today at JustAskJoyce.com.

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